Friday, May 12, 2006

Score: Trash Can 1, Oppossum 0

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At my house, I am the only one who seems to know how to carry a bag of trash from the kitchen to the large trash cans outside. It is a highly technical feat and apparently one that is beyond the ability of my offspring. I don't get upset about this, as I have had some difficulty in reloading toilet paper holders. I figure we all have our specialties and weaknesses....but I digress.

Saturday, I toted a big black bag of refuse out to the trash cans and the first can I chose contained this rascal. He must have been after some bit of tastey garbage when he slipped in and became trapped.

He was one stinky, sad looking oppossum. I carried the can over and showed my wife and kids. They asked me what I was going to do with it. The poor thing was covered in his own feces, hot, and probably thirsty, so I decided to toss him in the pond.

Jr. thought this was a great idea and followed me down to the dock.
He asked,"Will he be okay in the water?" I assured him he would be, I was just giving him a bath.

I grabbed the can and slung. The oppossum flew up in a gentle arc and splashed into the clear water below. Down he went, like a sub on a crash dive. Down, down, down.

Jr. looked at me.

"I'm not diving in to rescue a chicken eating 'possum...he'll be okay"

Then, as if in a slow motion dream sequence it began to rise trailing a stream of bubbles. Finally, he broke the surface, gasped, and swam across the pond to the willow swamp.

Good...'cause there was nothing in the CPR course about 'possums.

21 comments:

Lightnin said...

FC-
Last year Thunder and I were laying by the pool when we kept hearing something. He got up to check the large (lidded) trash can and there was a raccoon. He wheeled it over to the grassy area and let it go. Back to sun bathing and 10 minutes later we heard something again...there was a smaller one still in the can! My hero also let this one go free. Ya gotta kinda feel sorry for the wild things sometimes!

Wayne said...

CPR on a possum. Now there's a thought to carry to breakfast :-)

pablo said...

The doin' chores gene seems to be a recessive one. 'Course, I can't measure and cut wood worth a damn.

roger said...

back in california our garbage can caught many possums when we lived by a railroad right of way, which sheltered many critters. we enjoy the luxury of an attatched garage now, where we keep the garbage can.

Floridacracker said...

Lightnin,
Thunder can add raccoon wrangler to his resume.

Wayne,
Wasn't.gonna.happen.

Pablo,
Measure twice, cut once. Don't ask me how mistakes still happen when we follow this rule, but somehow they do.

dpr,
Apparently this is very common, but it's a first for us. weird.

Hick said...

Oh how I wish I hadn't read this before breakfast...CPR on that stinky old thing? Yipes!

threecollie said...

I will never forget when a dear friend, still living at home with his folks at the time, came home late and somewhat the worse for wear from a night of partying once.
He noticed something in the trash can on the back porch, slammed the lid on, and stumbled off to bed.
He was awakened very early the next morning to a chorus of bellows from his entire family, when someone took out some garbage.
Seems the something in the trash can was a skunk.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Did the garbage can also swim? I wanna see this...

Floridacracker said...

Hick,
CPR needing 'possums are out of luck around me.

ThreeCollie,
That is a funny mental picture...since it happened to someone else!

Hoss,
Film at eleven :)

Mrs. S said...

I wish you'd filmed that!! OH, how I wish you'd filmed that!!

I am torn between laughing hyseterically at the idea of you jumping into the pond after the poor critter, and feeling very sorry for the poor critter for his misfortune.

Bet that'll teach him, though.

kevin said...

They kinda remind me of rats on steroids.

I always wonder where PETA is with all the 'possum and armadillo road kill. Almost makes me think we should stop driving or at least put the people that run over them in jail.

BTW, armadillo takes like pork, I've never tried 'possum.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I would have had to hose him down, because I sure wouldn't dump him in my water garden.
You sure would have felt really bad if this was one oppossum who couldn't swim.

Deb said...

That was a very humane way of dealing with a critter who'd obviously seen better days. Your actions are guided by compassion (and reason), and that's why I like you. :)

Floridacracker said...

Mrs. S,
Why didn't I think of that? It would have been great video.

Kevin,
...greasy pork don'cha think? Never again. You do remember driving around, jumping out at the sight of one, and chasing it across peoples yards on some of our adventures with Billy don'cha?
Some of those adventures were hard to remember the next day...

Abandoned,
Next time I'll hose instead of launch.

Deb,
Thanks Deb, he had to smell better by the time he swam across the pond.

Idgie @ the "Dew" said...

Hi! Found you thru Vitamin Sea. I'm Idgie, Editor of a Southern E-zine, "Dew on the Kudzu". I have a lot of writers, but not too many from Florida. I would love it if you had something about Florida you could share with the magazine. (For example, your dune post was very informative).

Let me know if you're interested!

Idgie
Dew on the Kudzu
(www.todaysdeepsouth.blogspot.com)

kevin said...

Yeah, greasy pork. Not a regular part of my diet. The most fun with armadillos was turning them loose in McDonalds. It only happened once or twice but it's the stuff legends are made of.

Tjilpi said...

FC - I thought I would send you an email about the gun situation in Oz but wasn't able to find an email address for you on your site. However, in a little box on the top right of your site was the following:

Ads by Goooooogle
Electronic Possum Barrier
Are possums devastating the garden? Your problems are over!
www.sureguard.com.au
Advertise on this site


The above copy and paste hasn't come out with the piccies and all, but you'll notice the URL is dot com dot au.

It's an ad from an Australian [Oz] company.

You say 'possums' on your site and I get an ad from some mob in Oz flogging a possum electric fence!

My email address is on my blog. Drop by.

The basic gun situation in Oz is that our Prime Minister agrees with Michael Moore on guns; but disagrees with him on Iraq!

doubleknot said...

Possums in trash cans seems to follow me where ever I live and I seem to be the only one 'brave' enough to handle getting rid of it which means just tipping over the can and letting it amble it's way off. Never tried to throw one in a pond.

rick said...

God proved he has a sence of humor when he created the possum.To create something so ugly and dumb too,he must have been busy updating a blog or something.We supply many possum meals for the buzzards on our tracks.The light must blind them because the will just stand there and end it all without trying to move or climb up on the rail and run away from the train.They dont win to many of these suicidal races.

Floridacracker said...

Tjilpi,
Thanks. My google adsense ads crack me up most of the time as they respond to what I write. I'm tempted to write a fake post full of odd terms and see what weird ads pop up.
I'll stop by for that info as soon as I can get some true free time on the computer.

Doubleknot,
Have you seen one play dead?

Rick,
They are definitely slooowwww.

Floridacracker said...

Idgie,
Thanks, I just need to get through this and the next week, and then I'll have some time for that. Thanks again.