Mrs. FC called me almost as soon as she drove out of the driveway this morning ...
"There's a BIG (insert other name for a donkey) RATTLESNAKE on the side of the road before the stop sign! It was on the road, but slid off when I slowed to look at it."
"Wow! Still there? " I responded.
"Yes, it's rattling at me right now."
In 3 shakes of a dead rattlesnake's tail I was there.
The snake, all 5 feet of her, was stretched out in the roadside grasses. She was calm and still and watching us, but not rattling by then.
She was right ... this was a huge diamondback.
A five foot snake is one thing, but a five foot diamondback, like a five foot shark, looks a couple of feet longer when you are face to face.
What was really impressive about this girl was her girth ... GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY! She's got some bodacious curves.
I took a few pictures, but I really wanted this snake off the roadside and us gone too, before we attracted the attention of someone lacking in diamondback appreciation skills. I had brought along a big dowel stick for this purpose.
I wonder if she just ate or perhaps she is pregnant. I didn't ask her ... she's deaf after all.
Plus, I work with women and I know better then to make the dreaded, "When is the baby due?" faux pas.
As the video shows, we were successful in shooing her off the road and into the safety of the brush. This was an area of nothing but forest for hundreds of acres and this snake was right where she belonged ... well, almost ... she definitely was too close to the road for her own good.
While you might treat her differently if you found her in your backyard, this snake was nowhere near human habitation and deserved to be left alive.
And on this day, she was.