Friday, April 04, 2008

Friday Florida Food Fest: In Which Feather And I Become The Food


See?
This was supposed to be a combo gardening and foody post about my deerproofing of the garden and the resulting bountiful lettuce crop, coupled with a wilted lettuce recipe, but a funny thing happened on the way to the "farum".

(Oh ... I slay myself sometimes... wasn't that a funny movie?)

Anyway, ... I walked out there at about 1730 hours yesterday with huge colander and a pair of kitchen shears. I had plans for you to see a colander overflowing with beautiful lettuce followed by a shot of wilted lettuce salad.
Below you can see the disappointed lettuce plants who were forced to postpone their salad debut after weeks of preparation.
Yes, those are collards interspersed among the lettuce.
No, I don't weed much.
I just plant my desired plants thickly.


The moment I stopped walking and set the colander down to climb into the garden, THIS happened!!


Faithful Feather and I were attacked by swarms of mosquitoes.
Swarms!!
Flamingo campground swarms!!!
If you've been there you know what I mean.
That Feather photo is a little soft on the focus, 'cause she wasn't exactly holding still. It was still daylight, but I used a flash to try and capture some of the zillion skeeters attacking us.

She's swatting at them with her paw in the picture.
Clever girl.


So, we beat feet back to the house and refuge ... but not before losing about a pint of blood each.


SLURP DENIM AND DIE YOU B#%#$!!

She did, about one second after this photo.

Curiously, she seemed to think my blood was in my jeans, when we all know it's the other way around.

(Think about it for a moment and it might seem clever)

...or not.


This is the Friday before Spring Break so as crazy as today may be, a week of not dealing with other people's kids stretches out before me like some vast peaceful ocean vista.

Have a great Friday.

31 comments:

pablo said...

Funny about skeeters. Down there in the subtropics they are bad. And up in the subarctic (Minnesota) they are bad. But at Roundrock it's rare that we have any bother with skeeters. Tics, yes. Chiggers, most certainly. But skeeters, not so much.

Yes, I spotted the clever jeans reference. Your account will be awarded the customary points.

threecollie said...

Ah, I needed this post...spring does have its downside; thank you for exposing it. I love the close-ups, except for the skeeters being in them. It may still be winter here, but all we have are the indoor box elder bugs, which love to live with us in the cold weather.
I'll bet we readers enjoy your week of break almost as much as you do.

Danielle Says Hello said...

You really need to write a book!!! Really. You are working on it as I recall...aren't you???????

Deb said...

Just thinking about all those skeeters makes my skin crawl. I have seen only one mosquito so far this spring, and it was moving slow. They'll be out in force by Memorial Day though.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I should rethink the spider fobia. Being on blood thinners I bet I look like a smorgesboard to the skeeters! How long are you bothered with these little critters? Does anything repel them?
Lightnin

Anonymous said...

Think ya might invest in some apiculturist equipment? A smoke pot would help. On previous,those old SRT's are still great, but digital is so,well you know. By the way, I saw that shot in your side mirror, what is that you are shooting with now?
Brother J

lej619 said...

Is it my imagination or are the skeeters that much worse this year?? Yes i got both of the haha's LOL

Laura said...

Kill the little buggers! I say! there is no good reason for a skeeter!

kathy a. said...

feeling a little pun-chy with the break coming up?

your greens look nice, but i sure don't miss mosquitos. they love me, but i react badly to them. still have scars from bites 25 years back.

robin andrea said...

Your lettuce patch is spectacular. Ours are still seeds in the earth, waiting to be coaxed by a sun that hardly ever visits. Still, we're hopeful. Pure inspiration seeing your lettuce.

We don't have many skeeters here. Maybe there is one upside to the dank, dark northwest.

Anonymous said...

The next time you go out to the garden, spray yourself and the dog with listerine beforehand. Can't hurt, might help. It seems to confuse the mosquito's sense of direction, and they don't land. If you believe in the balance of nature, this might be the answer.

freste2715 said...

Looks like good eating for everyone, doesn't it?

The lettuce and collards look fantabulous. Do you know how to get drool out of a keyboard? Sure wish I could stuff my face in those greens and shake my head going "hubba bubba bubba lubba bubba". Mmmmm

If ya didn't know, taking a vitamin B-1 (thiamine) tablet daily changes the way you smell to them and seriously reduces their attraction. In addition, I know where you can get a good used ACME flamethrower.

Hurricane Teen said...

Your greens look great! I plant my crops thick like you do...makes for less work!
uuugh I think I have mosquitoes bad in the swamp up here, but FLAMINGO. TERRIBLE! It's kind of like the movie I Am Legend if you've ever seen it. You can't go outside past dark because the bloodlusters are waiting for you!!

Floridacracker said...

Pablo,
Count yourself lucky.

3C,
Yup, it's not all pretty flowers and early lettuce.
:) I hope I live up to that spring blogging inference.

Danielle,
Thanks for that confidence inducing comment.
Actually, I'm focused on my retry of the National Boards certification process, but this summer.

Deb, They made my skin leak.

Lightnin,
Running like hell works pretty good.

Bro J,
A Sony Cybershot DSC-H5. Very pleased with it.
Welcome to Pure Florida.

Lej,
Yes! They seem crazy worse!!

Laura,
Ditto darlin.

Kathy A,
Scars?
I get nothing, my wife gets big itchy bumps.
I think I'm better adapted to subtropical America.


Robin,
Spectacular! Thanks! You don't know how good that sounds as previous years were always deer disasters, but this year the tall fence is working.


Anon,
I'm going to experiment with that listerine idea.


Freste,
Wow,... good job at making eating a salad sound well ... ahem,... more exciting than usual.
I put my trust in a flamethrower over vitamins. Especially an ACME flamethrower.
My buddy Wiley swears by them.


HT,
I love Legend, except for Sam's exit scene.
Arrrggghhh painnnnnnfulll emotional torture.
Yes, Flamingo seems to have a sunset mosquito horde switch.

Linda said...

If you are referencing Funny Farm, it is the best rural mail carrier movie ever made.

How did your show pig place?

Does Florida have skeeters like all the time?

Anonymous said...

FC,I've been reading Pure Florida for quit awhile, just haven't commented before. My little brother turned me on to your site. I don't remember, but I probably met you years ago. Can ya guess who my lil bro is?
Bro J

SophieMae said...

We got spoiled during the skeeter shortage. Now they're making up for lost time. Burt's Bees makes a repellent that works really well for yellow flies. I need to get a refill soonly and try it on the skeeters. Biting/stinging critters always manage to find the one tiny spot I missed.

Those Glades skeeters a HUGE! We also encountered some of the flying Flamingo forces' family when we lived on Marco Island. One evening, as we made a mad dash for the car, I was sure the buzz could be heard a block away. We all leapt in, slammed the doors, breathed a sigh of relief and... BZZZZZZZZZ!

Paintsmh said...

Mmm lettuce. But ewwwwwwwwwww mosquitoes. They are about the only reason, besides flies, to be greatful it is still cold out!!!

thingfish23 said...

Looks like this year is gonna be bad down here... We just got our first real rains of the year over the last couple of days, so now the clock is ticking.

Your funs were very punny, Fc. "Blood in the jeans..."

*Snicker*

Floridacracker said...

Linda,
No, I was referencing " A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum", but as my Dad is a retired RRC, I need to see Funny Farm.

Bro J,
More info!

Sophie,
I had a similar dash for the pickup camper and slam the door experience years ago in Flamingo.

Paint,
It's a huge reason why I love the winter so much down here.

Thingfish,
You have what, about 5 more days to the explosion.
Good luck, buddy.

Anonymous said...

You met him at UWand still stay in touch.
Bro J

Anonymous said...

that is UWF! (typo)
Bro J

Kimberlee said...

I continue to be awed by your spectacular photos! Great close-ups! I do understand the mosquito battle. And I feel for dogs during that time of year. I actually spray repellent on a cloth and rub it on my dogs...especially their legs and ears...all the short-haired areas that they can't protect. It seems to help some. And, of course, the wind blows a lot up here and THAT is a BLESSING during mosquito season. I know the little blood-suckers have their place in the world, but I do prefer that place to be in the grass and NOT on me! :)

SwampAngel65 said...

Flamingo Campground...YES!!! I know exactly what you mean...OMG! That's pretty dang bad! I am still laughing...blood/jeans/genes...I get it (boy, I'm quick tonight!).

Note for anyone who may ever contemplate camping at Flamingo...DON'T! Camp somewhere else and just visit. Trust me. Trust FC. Heed our warnings.

Hey, the lettuce looks great, but I'll pass on the collards. :)

Floridacracker said...

Bro,
OH! Sorry, I was racking my brains thinking of some childhood friends brothers.
Glad you're visiting!

Kimberlee,
I did that very same thing with repellent and the dogs. I also set up a fan over their sleeping den so no mosquito can get near them when it's on.
It's their force shield!

Swampangel,
You know your glades!
Listen to her folks, get out of Flamingo before sunset!

Anonymous said...

Do you need another clue?
Bro J

Sharon said...

You are one punny guy :) And YES you need to see Funny Farm. We use skin-so-soft around here, it has always worked great. I welt up like your wife, I can't take it!!

Alan said...

I'd donate more often to the blood alliance, but the mosquitos get to me first... :)

Floridacracker said...

BroJ,
ThunderD's bro?

Sharon,
Do you find SSS works on skeeters?
I always felt it was okay for gnats but skeeters seemed to ignore it.
Bloggers keep pushing Listerine lately, have you tried that as skeeter repellent?

Alan,
8 gallons to the blood bank and about the same lately to the skeeters here.

Cathy said...

Yours is the only blog wherein I read all the comments, too.

Oh yeah! Funny Farm. It's a hoot. I'm sure your dad will 'not' relate to this fellow's delivery style.

Genes/jeans ;0)

Mosquitoes/ 3,000% Deet. I gave the office.

Floridacracker said...

Cathy,
I am blessed with great commenters. I'm netflixing Funny Farm right now!