Sunday, September 18, 2005

Fake Florida Follow Up...A Few Observations From Blizzard Beach

A few observations tinged with ethnocentrism and squareness...

I have a raging cold and was feeling pretty crumby so I parked myself at a table next to some kind of Tiki Bar and sent the boys off to "do their thing" amid the Blizzard Beach throng.
"Have fun, stay together, check in when you get hungry" Off they went.
I was situated at the main entrance to the "wave" lagoon and had a great view of the fake beach, fake rocks, and fake surf. The people were real though and they were fun to watch. A few observations tinged with opinion...
1) Tattoo artists must be making a fortune.
2) Tattos don't age well.
3) A tattoo on your 6 year old daughter? Why does that bother me?
4) Smoking is still way too common. I know older folks got addicted before all the anti-smoking info, but what are these younger smokers thinking?
5) People on cell phones forget they are out in public. I got an earful from nearby tables.
6) If you're not in the Olympics, maybe a speedo bathing suit isn't the best choice.
7) Plastic surgeons must be almost as busy as the tattoo artists.
8) Kids are the same in any language. The whines, laughs, and giggles translate clearly.
9) Body piercers must be pretty busy too.
10) Parents of young children on vacation are like pack mules. No matter the nationality, all were weighed down with gear.
All things considered, it wasn't a bad day, the birthday boy and his buds had a good time and I got out of my comfort zone for a day.
We need to do that from time to time...


Rexroth's Daughter said...

Sounds like a great day! I love your observations. Here's one from afar: California looks exactly the same way. The tattoos, cell phones, body piercings, and plastic surgeons' handiwork. We haven't seen enough of Washington (or Washingtonians) to make the same observations. The speedo observation is probably true galactically!
I bet the 14 year old loved it. Kudos to a great dad.

pablo said...

Hey, I'm in southern California for the next three days. If I ever get out of the hotel, I expect to find a lot of fake things too. (They tell me Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governor here.)


Zanne said...

I agree with everything you've said.

It gets worse when you travel internationally. I've never been more shocked or dismayed as when I've traveled to a far away exotic locale to find that some "imagineers" have disney-fied the place, the thought being to make it more palatable to travelers. They take places of immense natural beauty and create "fake experiences". It's bizarre.

thingfish23 said...

The Simulacrum.

It's a way of life.

You know, fish get fooled by fake things, too. And look what happens to them. So do ducks and deer.

If you take the bait, you reap the reward and all that. It just seems like culturally we have come to prefer the comforts of the fakery over the "work" of reality.

Still, there's a LOT to be said for happy kids. And I'd be lying if I said I don't have a special place in my heart for waterslide parks, no matter what their downsides are.

On any day, however, I'd rather be fishing with a cooler full of cold beers and plenty of food/snacks. Or at a pig roast with loud, moderately bad music. Or out in the woods, by myself or with a friend who doesn't mind roughing it a little and getting off the beaten path.

Floridacracker said...

Thanks and yes I can only imagine what CA is like since everything seems to start there and trickle down...We have a saying here..."Let's not Californicate Florida!" Too late I fear.

You are cracking me up. These hilarious, yet subtle observations are much appreciated.

I think we are so good at faking it that many folks expect "perfection" when visiting real sites with their attendant "flaws".

I agree. All things in moderation. I would never want to be so caught up in my own nature boy view that I couldn't cut loose and be a silly tourist, especially when it comes to kids.
I do have my preferences tho, and swimming in a small container of chlorinated recycled water with about a thousand strangers is not my idea of fun.
I'll take fish poop and toe biters any day.

Rexroth's Daughter said...

FC-- Hey, Oregon has the saying: Don't Californicate Oregon. It's too bad about California-- I can see why so many people moved there, it was quite beautiful, but how can one state handle a population of over 34 million people? And all those cell phones, tattoos, piercings, and SPEEDOS? It's amazing how one state can manage to turn a fetish into fashion and then into a cliche.

Patry Francis said...

Thanks for taking me out of my comfort zone and into the land of tattoos and plastic surgery. We have both here on Cape Cod, but I think they are less abundant.

Laura said...

LOL, Everytime I take the kids to the theme park here, I like to bring a book, find a lawnchair, shade and wave goodbye. I think I do as much people watching as I do reading!

Weary Hag said...

I love your observations! Wonderful and accurate. Sounds like you had a fun day, all in all - and well deserved I'm sure. People watching is my absolute favorite pastime; it doesn't really matter where or when - though Central Park is a terribly interesting backdrop. (Airports are great too... lots of diversity)

Floridacracker said...

I could imagine Central Park. I'm sure I have amused some people watcher at some time.