Saturday, February 25, 2006

I May Not Be Sophisticated


nuevo
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Occasionally, while reading other blogs, I get the feeling that I may be an unsophisticated nabob.
Could it be that choosing a life here on the Florida frontier has made me as out of place in hip society as Ma & Pa Kettle? I started pondering the possiblility and I came up with a list of "characteristics" that seem to show I am not likely to be doing any power lunches at Chez Glitz.

1) I used a laptop for the first time Thursday.
(Did you know they fold up?)

2) I had my first biscotti last weekend.
(Are they supposed to be stale?)

3) I still use 35mm film.
( The girl at the one hour photo center needs a job and she's my ex-student)

4) I never learned to tie a necktie.
(This flaw gets me face to face with my wife, who did learn)

5) I don't enjoy beers that taste like burnt wood.
(Whose BRILLIANT idea was that?)

6) I like wine that tastes like fruit.
(You know that white zinfandel with the screw top? I like it.)

7) I still use dial up.
(My only option would be direcway satellite, kind'a pricey)

8) I go from confident guy, ready for anything, to indecisive wobbler when I enter a Starbucks.
(Coffee, C-O-F-F-E-E, I just want a coffee)

9) I hate salad forks.
( I can't stand a short fork, and why must we dirty two forks?)

10) I hate musicals.
(The suspension of reality required to really get into a movie vanishes as soon as two people begin singing to each other.)

So, there it is. There are other things, but no need to overshare. I imagine the photo above points out one last unsophisticated characteristic (besides having a cluttered kitchen table)...

...I think cheap champagne goes great with collard greens, blackeyed peas, and barbeque ribs on New Years.
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19 comments:

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Don't fret about it...you're way ahead!
You're already where all the unsophisticated nabobs are just discovering they'd rather be.

rick said...

must be a family thing its all PaPa P's fault.He didnt try to impress anyone and if he and his broom hadnt slipped off the roof he might still be planting Datils and spreading wisdom

Rexroth's Daughter said...

Uh-oh. We like very dry cabernets and zinfindels. Have had laptops and digital cameras for three years, and dsl for even longer. Like dark, bitter beers. Agree with you about biscotti, salad forks and musicals. We're not sophisticated, we just like to get our vitamins the old fashioned way-- through red wine and dark chocolate, and our news the new way, fast and digital.

roger said...

beer that tastes like burnt wood????????

Wayne said...

I have to download directions every time I tie a tie, which is about once every two years. What do you like? I'm partial to full windsors, myself :-)

What's biscotti?

I'd still be using dialup, without complaining too!, except some energetic sort here convinced all-tel to establish DSL. Whoa!

You enter a starbucks? Why on earth would you do that? I've never been in one, though I will admit I know what they are.

You mean there's some significance to those two sizes of forks? Whatever's clean!

I admit to musicals, but only the ones my parents took me to - they seem to have stayed with me.

I'm trying to think of some way to one-up-ya, or maybe one-down-ya, FC, but you've covered just about everything.

Hmm, I've never owned a suit? I hang my laundry in the living room to dry?

I do have a pasta maker now though :-) I bet your wife would swoon should you present her with fresh pasta.

doubleknot said...

I would like to think that I could hold my own with the most sophisticated but you know what I no longer care. If I use the wrong fork so what - never had anyone tell me to stop eating and use the right utensil.
I like biscotti - maybe you just got a stale bunch.
StarBucks - closest I ever came was in a book store that had one in it and yep - just plain coffee.
Drink your champagne with anything you like - blackeyed peas and barbque sound good to me.
It is nice that your wife can tie your tie - personally I never learned and all the men in my life had to go with clip ons.

Laura said...

You're so normal!!! I hate starbucks coffee too. I like my coffee with sugar and cream and that's it. no flavorings whatsoever!
Although, once in a while, I like french vanilla or hazlenut cream in my coffee. but not often.
and I won't pay Starbucks prices for their bitter tasting coffee.

My hub never learned to do a tie either! It's a good thing he has a job where he can wear jeans instead. lol

You will lovvvvvvve digital, I promise!
Dialup? :X once you go broadband you never go back. hehehe.

I like wines that are fruity and have a screw off cap too. I don't drink wine or beer that often anyway.

Salad forks? I could give or take. hate is a strong word, so I'll just use 'em if all the other forks are dirty. I cannot discriminate against the forks of this world for their small size!

I don't think you're "an unsophisticated nabob" at all. By the time we're in our 40's, we know what works for us and what doesn't!

Weary Hag said...

Clearly we were made for one another. In my most recent post, and without having read this one first, I also mentioned the salad fork, but in different context. :)

I'll take a sip of wine once or twice a year but it better be fruity and sweet. (screw off top ... you mean there's another kind?)

The Starbucks thing doesn't apply here as I don't care for coffee, but I almost broke a tooth on biscotti one day at the office and supposedly everyone was raving about this brick of 'stuff' because it had just come out of the oven. I'm with you on that one!

I too am a member of the dial-up club. I never minded this so much till I tried Ed's laptop and saw how it flies!

Musicals - how lovely a world it would be if two gangs approached one another in a dark alley and broke out in song. I'm with you. One exception: The Sound of Music and only because I saw it at Radio City Music Hall in Sensurround when I was 10.

That plate of food looks yummy!

The MacBean Gene said...

I've never used a what'ch-call-it, lap top? Is that anything like a lap dance?
I thought biscotti was a type of duck.
I like 35 mm film but hate the 50 mile round trip drive to get it developed.
Tie a necktie? What's a necktie, I forget?
Is there anything other than dial up?
Forks are great, salad forks, dessert forks, fish forks, road forks, tree forks and more forks.
The only musical I like is "Babe" (the pig).
Starbucks? Boil down left over coffee add a bunch of sugar and milk and instant Starbucks.
If your out of sweet tea, Korbel is the only thing to drink with collards (I like mustards better), blackeyed peas, and ribs.
Never met a beer (except Budweiser) I didn't like. And screwtops confuse me.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Only thing wrong with that pitcher is you ain't got the food on a paper plate.

Deb said...

To me, there's not much difference between a necktie and a hangman's noose. Men's "business" attire is ridiculous.

I hate salad forks too. The big mantra at my family gatherings was "Save yer fork, there's dessert!"

I admit to being a beer snob, but I'm not above buying a case of "good" cheap beer once in a while, but please no "lite" crap!

And, now that I have a digital camera and high speed internet at home, there's no turning back. Although I'll miss those 35mm film canisters; they are handy for a few things.

pablo said...

Speaking from the sophistication capital of the universe -- Kansas City -- I can tell you that you needn't worry about your necktie shortcomings. Up here you can actually buy neckties that zipper on. I kid you not!

pablo said...

Also, the black-eyed peas are one of the Southern New Year's traditions, aren't they?

Floridacracker said...

Abandoned,
You're right. I've got other things to fret about!

Rick,
I often think that same thing.

RD,
Dial up is not by choice, I assure you. I have broadband at work, but actually have little time to use a computer in my job. Dark chocolate mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

DPR,
Any stout. Yuckkkkkk!

Wayne,
Okay, I do own a 15 year old suit...

Doubleknot,
I just meant those biscotti are mighy crunchy.

Laura,
Your last line...wisdom.

Weary,
Serendipity. I probably shouldn't have even mentioned beer and wine since I have about one beer a week and mostly cook with wine, rather than drink it.

Mac,
I'm ready for digital...saving my pennies.

Hoss,
I'll try and do better...worse?

Deb,
I have 35mm cannisters littering the floor of my jeep if ya' need some. They are great for storing seeds.


Pablo,
Zipper? That's a new one to me. The blackeye pea new years tradition is you must leave at least one pea on your plate for good luck in the upcoming year. Really, you should know that. Kansas City was featured in Southern Living this month (food). You are a southerner...heeheeheehee.

Hick said...

You are very fisiticated (a word I picked up from my oldest when he was 3). Champagne goes with everything...try it with a well seasoned and buttered popcorn. YUM!

I suffer with Dial-up syndrome, too.

Floridacracker said...

Hick,
I knew you were a fellow <50 killy boops person. Woe is us.

Thunder Dave said...

All you have to remember is that the best beer in the world is the one that your drinking at that time!

Here's another sophistication (not) tip: The perfect momosa is made by using the cheapest champagne with the best orange juice. Hmmm Florida has oranges......

Thunder Dave said...

Ooops, I forgot one comment: Sangria!

bryan torre said...

my kinda guy