Saturday, May 27, 2006
The Dogs Respond
The dogs would like to respond to rumors that they are slacking.
FEATHER: "It has come to our attention that Bringer Of Food has implied in some posts that we are not doing a very good job of keeping deer out of the garden."
FLOUNDER: "Yes, and that hurts, really cuts...ooh, look at that squirrel's tail a'flippin..."
FEATHER: "FOCUS FLOUNDER! Now about this deer thing. You must know that they are sneaky devils with lots of pointy parts? We two feel that such hazardous beasts qualify us for combat rations...extra dogbones between meals and some milk on our kibble."
FLOUNDER: "Dogbones? I like the green ones."
FEATHER: "YOU'RE COLORBLIND IDIOT! Back to the deer, at 70 years of age, we are no longer spring chickens and should..."
FLOUNDER: "Chickens? Now there's an animal I'll chase. Love it when Bringer Of Food target ranges them."
FEATHER: "That's FREE RANGE you bird brain, and you are supposed to protect them not eat them! Where was I?....Oh yes, age. We're just not as fast as we once were and running after deer is really quite tiring."
FLOUNDER: "Yes, we prefer to sound the alarm from up here on the porch...hey, there's a cheeto stuck between the porch boards...I think I can get it if I stick my tongue in carefully..."
FEATHER: "You see what I have to work with? No wonder the deer are fearless. I for one have barked myself silly for hours right outside your bedroom window and still they come. I was so angry...really, I was tempted to actually come off the porch. I just hate that clammy dewy grass at night though."
FLOUNDER: "GlI glthink gmyg gltongueg glisg glstuckglg glgin gltheglg glggcrackgglg...."
FEATHER: "Flounder...oh, never mind. We must also consider the politically correctness of deer chasing. One wonders if it is correct to oppress these free spirits of the forest, these sprites of spring...here look at this photo. I ask you, should we bother such graceful fellow travelers? Why can't we all just get along? "
FLOUNDER: "glllgdagnabitglglg.....gglglglggrrrg....glGOT IT! Hey, I got my tongue loose... and the cheeto!"
FEATHER: " Halfsies!"