Thursday, December 20, 2007
"I see you. You know, it's not polite to sneak up on people."
"Well, you're a lizard, I didn't think you'd mind ... or talk."
"That's because YOU are relatively new around here."
"Dude, I've owned PFHQ for 21 years."
"I'm not a "dude" and I was speaking of the big picture. Could you move to the other side of my stump, I'm in midbask and I really shouldn't move yet."
"That's better. Look, I've been meaning to talk with you, but you're always chasing me around my stump with that camera of yours."
"I'm all ears, what's on your mind?"
"Yes, I noticed those, but I want to talk about your stewardship of PFHQ. I don't want to sound ungrateful ... we really appreciate the woods, the brushpiles, the bug laden (yum!) unkempt yard ..."
"Well, thanks. I try to ..."
"Okay, you're interrupting me."
"Now pay close attention ... we appreciate those things, but you have to stop burning this stump!"
"I did think of you when I burned it. I started the fire small on one side so you could sense it and move to the fallen trunk section. It's huge and I'm not going to burn it"
"That's all tres considerate of you, but this tall stump is where I watch over my domain ... not that low log on the ground."
"Okay, but you didn't get burned so what's the fuss about?"
"I'm not fussing, I'm explaining."
"Come closer and look at me. What color am I?"
"You are mostly grey with makings that match oak bark perfectly. I've always admired your cryptic coloration patterns. You guys vanish on oak trees. Oh ..."
"Exactly, and what color is my stump NOW?"
"Are you starting to catch on? You've turned my secret basking spot into an "EAT AT JOE'S" sign for every hawk, swallowtail kite, and shrike in the neighborhood."
"I'm not an anole you know. I can't magically switch on some chromatophores and change color ... showoffs, even they can't do black."
"I didn't think."
"Obviously. What's your hurry anyway? Doesn't your little fleet of SUV's produce enough carbon without unnecessarily burning this stump?"
"Ouch! Don't dis the JEEP lizard."
"Truth hurts. Look, all I'm saying is, would it kill you to leave this stump alone?
"No, I'm sorry ... I was meddling wasn't I? It's really not in the way of anything. "
"No, but you are."
"You're blocking my sun and I need to finish my beauty bask."