Swine soccer is a little different from normal soccer. The basic premise is the same of course, two opposing teams attempt to kick the ball through the other team's goal. Most of the same rules apply, but while you still can't use your hands, it is allowable to use your snout to move the ball.
The ball is different too, overzealous swine are tough on traditional inflated soccer balls, so a bowling ball is the official ball of pig soccer.
What follows are the highlights of the annual Christmas Eve Sty Bowl held in the Pork-O-Rena.
By the way, the Pork-O-Rena is entirely supported by fan ticket sales and is not a porkbarrel waste of government funds like most major sports arenas.
This year the Sty Bowl hosted a contest between Emma and Chewie.
The game started with Emma trying to drive the ball downfield, but Chewie put up a vigorous defense.
A little too vigorous actually, biting the shoe of the opposing team is against the rules. As the official referee, I had to call Chewie on this flagrant violation. Emma was granted a goal kick, which she nailed.
Chewie looked a little aggravated as play continued. Would this early error cause her to lose focus?
Like any good athlete, Chewie channeled her aggravation into effort and broke away for a long drive down to Emma's goal. She seemed determined to bend it like BeckHAM.
The game was hogtied 1-1.
The crowd was going hog wild at this point. The excitement of a close game had everyone on their feet. The Chewie fans were really hamming it up, yelling and waving the "Chewie Chop".
Not to be outdone, the Emma fans responded with, " Pulled Pork and Barbeque Sauce, Chewie's gonna have a loss!"
The game continued, fast and furious.
Then Chewie made another error ... a hand ball!
Chewie disagreed with this call and argued vigorously with me over the "alleged handball". She was really being pigheaded and even lost her temper. Biting the ref's sneakers earned her a red card and another goal kick for Emma.
The kick was good and the 2007 Sty Bowl ended with a 2-1 victory by Emma which earned her the coveted "Golden Troughy".