Thursday, December 27, 2007

Swine Soccer


Swine soccer is a little different from normal soccer. The basic premise is the same of course, two opposing teams attempt to kick the ball through the other team's goal. Most of the same rules apply, but while you still can't use your hands, it is allowable to use your snout to move the ball.



The ball is different too, overzealous swine are tough on traditional inflated soccer balls, so a bowling ball is the official ball of pig soccer.

What follows are the highlights of the annual Christmas Eve Sty Bowl held in the Pork-O-Rena.
By the way, the Pork-O-Rena is entirely supported by fan ticket sales and is not a porkbarrel waste of government funds like most major sports arenas.

This year the Sty Bowl hosted a contest between Emma and Chewie.

The game started with Emma trying to drive the ball downfield, but Chewie put up a vigorous defense.


A little too vigorous actually, biting the shoe of the opposing team is against the rules. As the official referee, I had to call Chewie on this flagrant violation. Emma was granted a goal kick, which she nailed.

Chewie looked a little aggravated as play continued. Would this early error cause her to lose focus?



Like any good athlete, Chewie channeled her aggravation into effort and broke away for a long drive down to Emma's goal. She seemed determined to bend it like BeckHAM.

She scored!

The game was hogtied 1-1.



The crowd was going hog wild at this point. The excitement of a close game had everyone on their feet. The Chewie fans were really hamming it up, yelling and waving the "Chewie Chop".
Not to be outdone, the Emma fans responded with, " Pulled Pork and Barbeque Sauce, Chewie's gonna have a loss!"

The game continued, fast and furious.

Then Chewie made another error ... a hand ball!





Chewie disagreed with this call and argued vigorously with me over the "alleged handball". She was really being pigheaded and even lost her temper. Biting the ref's sneakers earned her a red card and another goal kick for Emma.

The kick was good and the 2007 Sty Bowl ended with a 2-1 victory by Emma which earned her the coveted "Golden Troughy".


15 comments:

amarkonmywall said...

Excellent reporting of this extreme sporting event! I do believe the ref engaged in a bit of nepotism but that's just my opinion. My only remaining question: Did the cheerleaders wear pigtails?

roger said...

good thing emma won. i hear that the loser is e a t e n. i spelled it out to spare chewie's feelings. altho maybe the biting fouls are a hint that she knows something. or is that fowls?

anyway...good game. well played.

kathy a. said...

who knew pigs were so opinionated? or goal directed?

i can only quote charlotte: "SOME PIG!"

robin andrea said...

Chewie looks like a formidable opponent. Although, it may be that she's just a ham for the camera. Good game for Emma.

jojo said...

did you get every HOG wild comment in there? i think you did? LOL... i don't know why i don't look at your site first thing in the morning. I need to start. Cause i'm always laughting out loud from it.

thanks!

ArtfulSub said...

She doesn't HAVE hands! Bad call, Ref! You're a...uhm....er....Speciesist!!

Doug Taron said...

Does the winner go on to the Bacon Bowl?

Doug Taron said...

After I posted my comment, I realized that this post gives an entirely new meaning to the phrase "play with your food."

Floridacracker said...

Vicki,
Guilty as charged.
Pig tails ... heehee.

roger,
pigs are pretty smart ... maybe you should have used code.

Kathy A,
Some swine soccer star.

Robin,
Chewie has great ham potential. Emma is a gracious winner ... not boorish at all.
:)

Jojo,
I tried. :)
Glad you got a tickle out of this game.

Artful,
I'm ethnocentrically challenged.

Doug,
LOL at playing with your food ...
This sweet pig would not hesitate to eat me if I passed out in that pen.
They are opportunists, just like us.

Carla said...

Sounds like a fun way to spend a Christmas Eve. I may just have to get me a pig! Are they hard to soccer train? Or, since I'm a little further north than you, I wonder how they would do at ice hockey?

Rurality said...

You are such a card!

I can't wait to see pics from your new you-know-what.

Yes those turkeys were from our game-cam... I just forgot to tag it that way!

Floridacracker said...

Carla,
Welcome to Pure Florida! I think pigs are naturals at sports.

Rurality,
I set it up last night and haven't checked it yet. Anticipation builds!

Hurricane Teen said...

wow. Why wasn't this on CBS? Or better yet, why doesn't ESPN2 replace their usual 3 AM programming (spelling bees) with the Sty Bowl? I would watch it, so there's already one more viewer than they have right now at that time!

Floridacracker said...

HT,
Excellent idea.
Spelling bees on ESPN?
Who knew?

Sharon said...

"BeckHAM"...LOL *SNORT* :) I love that pig.