Sunday, November 06, 2005

I Have Only Arrested One Time Traveler...

The above 10-344 form was written by me after I arrested a time traveler from 1843. That'll teach him to mess with MY century.

I have only met one time traveler in my life and I arrested him. He led a high speed pursuit from Tybee Island, GA into my park on a calm day. The Tybee officer had put the blue lights on and this guy took off on a run down US 80 which is all causeway and saltmarsh with no turnoffs except for my park entrance.

So of course he chose it.

He blew past the tiny entrance fee booth with the Tybee officer right behind him. The college student in the booth called me on the radio and breathlessly told me they were heading my way.

This guy jumped out of his car and ran like a rabbit, through the fort and out a window into the moat. Once he swam across the moat, there were brushy fields and then woods and salt marsh.

You can get the gist of the chase from the case incident report, but the reason for the post is what the guy kept yelling as I cuffed him.

"You don't understand, you don't understand ...I'm not from your time. I'm from 1843...1843! Please don't arrest me, I have to get back!"

Ratchety click, click sound.

"Well, you're gonna be late bud, 'cause you're going to jail"

The Tybee officer was pumped with adrenaline after his high speed chase and still had his knee on this guys back...he was pushing pretty hard and giving the "traveler" a hard time.

"He's cuffed, we can let him up now".

Tybee reluctantly moved his knee and I rolled the guy up and helped him stand.

"You have the right to...blah, blah, blah. Can you walk?" That was probably a stupid question, he had just drove at high speed, ran through a fort, swam a moat, and led me on a run through the marshy woods. We walked back to the patrol car. He continued...

"Please let me go, I am not from your time...just let me go and I will be gone...I won't come back"

"Hey, don't forget you have the right to remain silent...we won't mind if you do."

The excitement was over, he went to jail, posted bail. When his court date came, I had to go testify.

Only, he didn't show.

I know...I was wondering the same thing...did he get back? Posted by Picasa


Wayne said...

Apparently he did get back. Here's the way the timeline should have gone:

1849: Re-elected President Polk resolves differences between Richmond and Washington.

1870: First heavier than air flight.

1905: Federation of Europe inspires the Commonwealth of Russia to form.

1921: Amelia Earhart, first human on the moon.

1941: German scientist Werner Von Braun perfects intersteller drive.

1970: Silver anniversary of Alpha Centauri colony - ten million strong.

1980: Earth declared perpetual biodiversity sanctuary.

1998: President Bill Clinton impeached but not convicted after allegations of improprieties with a marsupial from Eta Cass II.

2000: George W. Bush arrested and convicted on terrorism charges.

Thanks a lot, FC.

:-) Nice riff!

swamp4me said...

Love the CIR (we use form PR-63). It's always such fun to read another rabger's report. I read one of Treebeard's one time - it outlined his response to a camper's report of Big Foot in the campground. Guess it takes all kinds to make the earth a "perpetual biodiversity sanctuary."

Floridacracker said...

LOL! Yours is better than mine! Thank you for a laugh!

They are funny sometimes...these park visitors. I will have to post about Naked Birthday Guy sometime. You never know what you'll find on a walk...

Zanne said...

It takes all kinds.

I love the bit at the top, that you had to use the wrong form because of a short supply of the correct form. Beaurecracy at it's best!

The day I visited Fort Sumter in Charleston harbor it was 102 degrees. I spotted the Rangers who had ducked behind a wall to bust out laughing at an entire family that got off the ferry dressed head to toe in Civil War uniforms, long sleeve dresses with hoop skirts, hats and gloves. And yes, historically correct in wool, etc.

I was the only one that saw and they were quite gracious, but you know, you gotta find ways to have some fun on the job when you're parked on a hot as hell rock in the middle of nowhere.

Thunder Dave said...

Wow, "Nature Nerd" by day and "Crime Fighting Super Hero" by night! I think you've inspired me to write another post. Time travel is an interesting concept Remember, I'm a "nerdy scientist" by day and "Brewmaster" by night. This combination can sometimes lead to bizzare logic.

Weary Hag said...

Oh my word! I think you arrested my great grandfather. There's been a story in our family for years about how he traveled through time to a great little island in Florida being chased the whole while by a man with a blog. Amazing.

Could be just simple coincidence though. Ya never know.

(excellent story!)

rick said...

my first thought was maybe he was stuck in a game of Jumanji.Robin Willaims movie a must see if you havn't already

Floridacracker said...

Reenactors, you gotta love em.

Write buddy, write!

So, that was your family member...Hey, great new pic on your comment!

Laura again said...

dunno, did you see a ferarri parked outside and tire marks on the road?

had a good laugh over Wayne's timeline!

Floridacracker said...

Jumanji...maybe this guy started the whole thing!