Wednesday, January 04, 2006

It's Fall!



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NEWS REPORT:
Breaking news bulletin: It has been reported that FALL has struck the state of Florida. It appears to have occurred in a single maple along State Road 24 west of Gainesville. Floridians flocked from near and far to see the beautiful fall color. This reporter interviewed a few of the "leaf lookers"

"We drove up from Mount Dora just to look out over the vista" said A. Jones.
"Oh, we just love fall, " said his wife Vera. "Why, last year we drove up to Fernandina to see the leaves...that was a sweetgum I believe."

"No, V,... sweetie, last year's tree had yellow leaves...must have been a hickory,"
said Mr. Jones.

"Well, it was a beautiful tree, whatever it was." said Vera.

Local GreenBark representative, Ingrid Kisstree used the brilliant fall color of the tree to spread the word about Global Cooling. Standing on a soapbox (made of 70% post-consumer recycled cardboard) Ms. Kisstree expounded on the effects humans and constipated cattle are having on the Earth's climate. "Leaves changing color in Florida just proves my point that we humans are changing global climate patterns...what'll it take for you people to take global cooling seriously...FROST in Frostproof, Florida??"

At this, there was some murmuring in the crowd, "Oh no, we don't want that"...murmur, murmur..."I don't know how to drive in frost"...murmur..."We'll need to get frost chains for our tires"...

Fear of a global chill seemed to cool the crowd's enthusiasm for Fall and most left when Ms. Kisstree invited them to learn more about global cooling over a cup of hot chili at the local Wendy's. Something about her struck this reporter as odd, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Soon, only a handful of leaf lovers were left gazing at the tree. As the sun set, a stiff wind from the north rattled the tree, stripping away most of the glowing leaves. They swirled in the breeze like embers and then drifted down into the green palmetto thickets.

"Winter!" harrumphed Mr. Smith.

We all walked back to our cars and drove away.

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9 comments:

Laura said...

On highway 66 just outside of Sebring, there was a stretch of sweetgum and other tall trees that had the same red, orange and gold colors the day after Christmas.
You're right, fall has finally come to florida! LOL

and uh... frost chains??? lol

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I thought only old people died in Florida. I didn't know it happens to trees, too. Gosh.

tamnesiabob said...

Ah, beautiful Florida. I lived in St. Pete for a while back in '91. Still miss it... By the way, thanks for the welcome the other day.. I still havent figured out how to do my blog..

Floridacracker said...

Laura,
I suppose, being southern, our Florida trees are more reserved and not as loud as those up north. ;)

Hoss,
I thought old people came here to drive very large cars very slowly.

Tamnesia,
Good luck with your blog. Give us a comment when it's up and running.

roger said...

this wouldn't be seasonal envy, um, envy of seasons, would it? i enjoy our seasons, but still, as a gardener, i envy those who live in places with loooonger growing seasons than ours.

Hick said...

Around here everything turns green in the winter and browns out in the summer...with all this rain we ought to have plenty to turn brown next summer...and then the whole state will burn...

I love California.

Floridacracker said...

DPR,
It is. Envy for those with long, beautiful autumns...but yes, the long (constant) growing season is nice.

Hick,
As Buffet says about California,
"...we got riots, fires and mudslides..."
I never would have suspected green winter and brown summer where you live.

vicki said...

Our Florida Live Oaks have gone straight to brown dropsy. What a mess.

Floridacracker said...

Vicki,
The only green in some of our oaks is the mistletoe growing there in nice round balls.